your views on modern day porn consumption

[Catholic_Lady]

That's good that you normally don't use porn while you have a girlfriend. 

I know there's been women here who have said their husbands look at it and they don't care, but it's very different for me. I would feel devastated and betrayed if my husband had any sort of porn habit. It would make me feel inadequate and like a violation of something sacred and special that is supposed to be shared exclusively between us. But then again, that comes with the territory of having very different views of sexuality.

Catholic_Lady, if this is too personal just ignore this, but I am interested in this sense that you would feel betrayed if your partner watched porn.

From whence would you say this feeling originates? Is it a sense that he would be committing adultery by directing any form of sexual response to other women, or is it more an impassive sense of distaste through failing to uphold the moral code of your faith that I presume he either believes in or is expected to adhere to? Perhaps it has nothing to do with faith at all and you just aren't comfortable with the idea of him finding sexual stimulation, however indirectly from someone else, I'm curious.

As for the original topic...I wouldn't be thrilled by a partner watching porn after that level of intimacy had formed. I admit my own thoughts would drift towards "Am I really that shit in bed/ugly/uncreative enough they've got to `get it' elsewhere?" but I'd probably never mention it to them, since I'd personally scribe that up to my own personal insecurity rather than them actually doing something objectively bad.

Of course, it wouldn't be nearly as bad as it would be if he were to actually sleep with other women. But getting sexual gratification from other women instead of having sex with me, even if just by watching their videos, doing webcam, phone sex, receiving sexts, etc, would still make me wonder why I wasn't enough. That's where the feeling of inadequacy would come from. 

I don't think this is any more about "insecurity" as it would be if he were to actually sleep with other women rather than just get off on watching videos of them. Women who are upset after they found out their spouse slept with someone else never get told they're just being insecure. Likewise, there should be no reason for women who are upset about their spouse' porn viewing to be told they're just being insecure. It just depends on each couple's views on sex and on what they would consider crossing the line towards infidelity.   

Aside from feeling inadequate, I would also feel betrayed because my view of sex is that it is a sacred, special bond shared exclusively between my spouse and I. I purposely married someone who felt the same way. So him breaking that would be very hurtful to me. I'm not sure how I would react to something like that, or how quickly I'd be able to forgive him enough for things to go back to normal.