your views on modern day porn consumption

[Catholic_Lady]

Just discovered this thread.  I started reading the first few but then thought I should just consider the question afresh first.  

So my response is that yes, I do have concern about the ready availability of porn for younger people (especially boys since I think we are wired more strongly for visual stimulation).  But I think my concern is akin to my concern that video games or social media are warping in a way.  Kids today engage in different activities than I did but there are trade offs with benefits and costs which probably cut both ways.

That said I think it is a shame if young people don't develop the capacity to find stimulation through the exercise of their own imagination.  I have no problem with masturbation, in fact I suspect it is important.  My only concern is that porn may render them passive and less involved.  Ultimately, I see nothing wrong with porn for adults; my only concern is for the developmental aspect.

Now I'll see if I can follow where this has led.  Once again you bring up a fascinating and complex question.

I was an unimaginative youth. I also had parents who refused to talk about sexual issues with me at all, and indeed tabooed it, so I was on my own. I stole a copy of Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex* *but were afraid to ask from a buddy's parents, and that was literally the start of my sex ed. I was 13. But because the taboo surrounding sex was still in my head, it wasn't until I was in my twenties, managing an adult video store and being exposed to different sexual conceptions, that I could go beyond your standard-issue coitus and oral sex, and start exploring things like role-play, toys, foodsex, smacking her around a little, public pleasure ... uh ... I'd probably ought to stop about now, but you get the picture.

I didn't then and still don't care much for porn in and of itself, because it depersonalizes something I hold dear -- but I do appreciate that it taught me that my own sexuality was not the only way to look at sexuality. And it certainly gave me ideas that have enriched the  sexual expression of the loves I've had.

I think it's very harmful for parents to not talk to their kids about sex. I was lucky that my mom was always very open with me and taught me from a young age that sex had 2 main purposes - making babies and/or bonding with your spouse. I was a curious little kid/young teenager and asked her a lot of questions about sexuality which I look back on now and think must have been pretty uncomfortable for her to answer. But she never failed me. 

Apart from that, the school I went to from Kindergarten  to 8th grade did a very good job of teaching us about sex. It started in 3rd grade and happened every year since then - they separated the girls and the boys so that we would feel more comfortable asking questions, and we'd spend the entire health and religion period combined learning about and discussing sexuality. I think every school should do this.