your views on modern day porn consumption

[LadyForCamus]

That's good that you normally don't use porn while you have a girlfriend. 

I know there's been women here who have said their husbands look at it and they don't care, but it's very different for me. I would feel devastated and betrayed if my husband had any sort of porn habit. It would make me feel inadequate and like a violation of something sacred and special that is supposed to be shared exclusively between us. But then again, that comes with the territory of having very different views of sexuality.

This is just how far I've gotten so far.  Stopping to check out recommended videos is really slowing me down.  [j/k]

I think hearts and flowers kind of sex may be insufficient for men in the long run.  Pretty sure it doesn't do it for all women either.  But so long as you don't see the just-for-fun aspect of sex, you wouldn't know.  There is something sacred about sex but that's really because of its being a kind of intimacy.  Sex is more than that and if after some number of years you find your husbands physiological response flagging hopefully you'll be willing to explore ways to resurrect him even if that takes you beyond the bounds of sex-as-intimacy.

Here is a reflection question for all the theists in the house: do you think that, to the degree that God created anything, He also created fun on purpose?  If so, for what purpose?

I have no problem whatsoever with my husband viewing porn. I mean...porn is a masturbatory aid. That's all. Am I also going to demand that he never masturbate, or never imagine having sex with another woman besides me when he does? That's just silly, and completely hypocritical on my part. Should I have to give up literotica as well?

I think open communication (like Thump mentioned earlier) is key. When my husband and I were first dating he was like, "I watch porn." And I was like, "I don't care." From then on I bought him a pornographic video every year for Valentine's Day. Sometimes he would go with me to pick it out. Now that everything is On Demand, we will watch it together occasionally while sitting in front of the TV with some wine on a Saturday night. Usually we're just making fun of it, but occasionally we might come across something that is mutually stimulating. I know what kind of porn he likes as well as the long, long laundry list of stuff he doesn't like, and I can say to him, "Omg, there is NO way she likes that! Don't ever try that on me." Being so open with each other about pornography has served as a great way for us to share, laugh, have fun, and get to know more intimately what turns one another on or off.


Now, if I ever felt like our sex life was suffering because of it; that one was suffering because of the other, that would be a different story. But my husband is still really good at making me feel like I'm the sexiest, most desirable woman he's ever seen almost 10 years after the day we met. All in all, I'd say that porn has complimented our sex life nicely, as opposed to stifling it.