RE: Favorite Quotes by Comedians
May 27, 2011 at 1:35 pm
(This post was last modified: May 27, 2011 at 1:51 pm by Minimalist.)
Quote:If God doesn't destroy Hollywood Boulevard, he owes Sodom and Gomorrah an apology.
Jay Leno
Quote:The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
George Carlin
Quote:Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
Quote:"I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough. Let's go west."
— Richard Jeni
Quote:The Vatican is against surrogate mothers. Good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.
Elayne Boosler
Quote:There are people who believe that humans and dinosaurs co-existed. And what this is, plain and simple, is a psychotic reaction. They are crazy. These people are stone-cold fuck nuts. I can't be nice about this, because these people are watching the Flintstones as if it were a documentary.
--Lewis Black
Quote: I went away for two weeks and I came home and its illegal to be Mexican in Arizona. I didn't see that coming at all. That is the most racist shit I have ever seen and I'm BLACK!
--Alonzo Bodden
