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NEW Religion - Cobainism Second coming of Jesus
#25
RE: NEW Religion - Cobainism Second coming of Jesus
(November 26, 2016 at 12:22 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: What follows has been floating round the net for yonks, and I think it makes a far better case that Elvis was the Second Coming:

*****

•Jesus said: “Love thy neighbor.” (Matthew 22:39)
•Elvis said: “Don’t be cruel.” (RCA, 1956)

•Jesus is the Lord’s shepherd.
•Elvis dated Cybill Shepherd.

•Jesus was part of the Trinity.
•Elvis’ first band was a trio.

•Jesus walked on water. (Matthew 14:25)
•Elvis surfed on water. (Blue Hawaii, Paramount, 1965)

•Jesus’ entourage, the Apostles, had 12 members.
•Elvis’ entourage, the Memphis Mafia, had 12 members.

•Jesus was resurrected.
•Elvis had the famous 1968 “comeback” TV special.

•Jesus said, “If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink.” (John 7:37)
•Elvis said, “Drinks on me!” (Jailhouse Rock, MGM, 1957)

•Jesus fasted for 40 days and nights.
•Elvis had irregular eating habits. (e.g. 5 banana splits for breakfast)

•Jesus is a Capricorn. (December 25)
•Elvis is a Capricorn. (January 8)

•Matthew was one of Jesus’ many biographers. (The Gospel According to Matthew)
•Neil Matthews was one of Elvis’ many biographers. (Elvis: A Golden Tribute)

•“[Jesus] appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow.” (Matthew 28:3)
•Elvis wore snow-white jumpsuits with lightning bolts.

•Jesus lived in state of grace in a Near Eastern land.
•Elvis lived in Graceland in a nearly eastern state. [this is my personal favourite- B.]

•Mary, an important woman in Jesus’ life, had an Immaculate Conception.
•Priscilla, an important woman in Elvis’ life, went to Immaculate Conception High School.

•Jesus made reference to a Canaanite woman, saying, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to their dogs.”  (Matthew 15:26)
•Elvis made reference to a woman, saying “You ain’t nothing but a hound dog.”

•Jesus was first and foremost the Son of God.
•Elvis first recorded with Sun Studios, which today are still considered to be his foremost recordings.

•Jesus was the lamb of God.
•Elvis had mutton chop sideburns.

•Jesus’ Father is everywhere.
•Elvis’ father was a drifter, and moved around quite a bit.

•Jesus was a carpenter.
•Elvis’ favorite high school class was wood shop.

•Jesus wore a crown of thorns in the style of royalty.
•Elvis wore Royal Crown hair styler.

•No one knows if Jesus had a middle name.
•No one was really sure if Elvis’ middle name was “Aron” or “Aaron”.

•Jesus is often depicted in pictures with a halo that looks like a gold plate.
•Elvis’ face is often depicted on a plate with gold trim and sold on TV.

•Jesus said: “Man shall not live by bread alone.”
•Elvis liked his sandwiches with peanut butter and bananas.

•Jesus was regarded by some to have been an extraordinary prophet.
•Elvis was regarded by some to have made an extraordinary profit.

*****

Boru

Jesus ended Jewish dietary restrictions

Elvis starred in the movie Clambake
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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Messages In This Thread
RE: NEW Religion - Cobainism Second coming of Jesus - by Cato - November 26, 2016 at 9:19 am
RE: NEW Religion - Cobainism Second coming of Jesus - by chimp3 - November 26, 2016 at 10:30 am
RE: NEW Religion - Cobainism Second coming of Jesus - by vorlon13 - November 26, 2016 at 12:42 pm
RE: NEW Religion - Cobainism Second coming of Jesus - by Alex K - November 26, 2016 at 12:36 pm
RE: NEW Religion - Cobainism Second coming of Jesus - by Alex K - November 26, 2016 at 12:40 pm

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