My honest reason for disliking the idea of God

[robvalue]

Sure. No, they aren't the same thing.

There are three distinct positions. You can either believe there are gods, believe there aren't gods, or you can have no belief either way. Someone who is undecided, who is reserving judgement until further evidence arrives, is the latter. That is weak atheism. A lot of people incorrectly call that agnosticism. The positive belief that there are no gods is strong atheism. (These are somewhat informal terms to distinguish the two.)

Say you are in the jury, and the claim is that the defendant did a certain crime. You review the evidence and decide it's not strong enough to conclude that they did it. You lack belief that they are guilty, based on that evidence. Does this mean you believe they are innocent? Not necessarily. You may do, if there is actually evidence that suggests they are indeed innocent. Being found "not guilty" isn't the same as being found "innocent".

There is no compulsion to choose "true" or "false" when presented with a claim. If the evidence isn't there to decide, then "undecided" is the most rational position.