(April 15, 2017 at 3:32 am)It_Was_me Wrote: I will just get straight to the point. There is a girl who I have known since I was in Community College. Which was 2012. So I have known her for 5 years now. I really like her, I just really do! The only problem is she is dating another guy right now. However, based off with how her last 2 boyfriends went it's only a matter of time until they break up. She seems to go out with these guys who turn out to be complete assholes. I really like her! So I just want what's best for her. However, how do I go about making a move? I am pretty sure she knows I like her, because I have told her some years before. However, we do talk quite a bit. We hung out last year after she broke up with boyfriend #2. We went to a baseball game with each other. She hates baseball, I love baseball. I joke about how I'm going to drag her to another game this season. haha But yeah. Do you think I will just be stuck in this friendzone forever with her? We don't see each other often since I live about 100 miles away for school. We are both 23. I'm 99.9% sure she views our friendship in high regards.
I trust you guys. So this is why I am asking this here
1. Let her go. You're in the friend zone and if she hasn't expressed any type of sexual/romantic interest in you in 5 years, she probably never will. Even if she does you'll most likely be a rebound or distraction for her so she can get over her last boyfriend, which isn't fair to you. Honestly I would distance myself from her starting immediately and you don't owe her an explanation, though it would be considerate to give her an explanation if you are very good friends. Have the "look, I'm into you and I know you're not into me, let's just go our separate ways" conversation. It won't be a comfortable conversation but I promise you you will feel good about yourself after.
2. If you can't let her go, wait til she's single and tell her how you feel. While I'm very much recommending you NOT do this, it is an option. Chances are she will shoot you down, but then at least you can say you put yourself out there and gave it a shot. If she does say no, once again I would probably end the friendship there, on as good of terms as you possibly can.
Some people may disagree with me on this, but you're just torturing yourself man. You're spending time around a girl you want to have sex with... and she won't have sex with you. You care about her, so it seems, and you love her on a level that she will probably never love you on. There's no reason to put yourself through this. I have had plenty of female friends in life and quite honestly all of those friendships ended because of one of two reasons - 1. I made a move and she wasn't into it so it made things awkward after that. 2. She made a move and I wasn't into it so it made things awkward after that. And the friendships I've had with females that did work out... neither of us were attracted to one another.
Sex, unfortunately, does complicate things.
“Love is the only bow on Life’s dark cloud. It is the morning and the evening star. It shines upon the babe, and sheds its radiance on the quiet tomb. It is the mother of art, inspirer of poet, patriot and philosopher.
It is the air and light of every heart – builder of every home, kindler of every fire on every hearth. It was the first to dream of immortality. It fills the world with melody – for music is the voice of love.
Love is the magician, the enchanter, that changes worthless things to Joy, and makes royal kings and queens of common clay. It is the perfume of that wondrous flower, the heart, and without that sacred passion, that divine swoon, we are less than beasts; but with it, earth is heaven, and we are gods.” - Robert. G. Ingersoll
It is the air and light of every heart – builder of every home, kindler of every fire on every hearth. It was the first to dream of immortality. It fills the world with melody – for music is the voice of love.
Love is the magician, the enchanter, that changes worthless things to Joy, and makes royal kings and queens of common clay. It is the perfume of that wondrous flower, the heart, and without that sacred passion, that divine swoon, we are less than beasts; but with it, earth is heaven, and we are gods.” - Robert. G. Ingersoll
