Being married is fucking awesome. I don't know what you humbugs are on about. 
Best advice I can give:
Be respectful of your spouse, even if they are nowhere near you. (In other words, don't talk shit about them when they're not around.)
Don't bring other people into your fights. A. It makes people feel really fucking awkward. B. It makes your spouse feel like they're being ganged up on, like you would seek back up to fight them. C. It invites other people into your relationship.
Make being honest a habit. You might be tempted to lie about stupid shit like whether you ate another slice of cake. That shit isn't important. That your spouse can trust you, and you never have that shitty feeling of having to keep up with the lie, is more important by a long shot. Hey, everyone has secrets. You don't necessarily have to tell your spouse if you occasionally watch weird porn or something, but if directly asked, don't say no. They'll remember that time you lied the next time they doubt you and that doubt will be stronger for it. I've found this to be the most important thing in my marriage.
Respect time outs. When people get really pissed, they don't solve anything. The best thing to do is take a time out. Everyone gets some space to let the mercury cool. However, you can't just storm out. You have to say where you're going and how long you'll be gone. It's a gesture that garners trust, and let's your partner know you'll be safe as well.
All of these tips are based on huge mistakes in my first marriage that are more or less solved in my second marriage. They make my life a lot easier. I feel safe and secure in my marriage and strive to make Tibs feel the same way. It's nice.
Best advice I can give:
Be respectful of your spouse, even if they are nowhere near you. (In other words, don't talk shit about them when they're not around.)
Don't bring other people into your fights. A. It makes people feel really fucking awkward. B. It makes your spouse feel like they're being ganged up on, like you would seek back up to fight them. C. It invites other people into your relationship.
Make being honest a habit. You might be tempted to lie about stupid shit like whether you ate another slice of cake. That shit isn't important. That your spouse can trust you, and you never have that shitty feeling of having to keep up with the lie, is more important by a long shot. Hey, everyone has secrets. You don't necessarily have to tell your spouse if you occasionally watch weird porn or something, but if directly asked, don't say no. They'll remember that time you lied the next time they doubt you and that doubt will be stronger for it. I've found this to be the most important thing in my marriage.
Respect time outs. When people get really pissed, they don't solve anything. The best thing to do is take a time out. Everyone gets some space to let the mercury cool. However, you can't just storm out. You have to say where you're going and how long you'll be gone. It's a gesture that garners trust, and let's your partner know you'll be safe as well.
All of these tips are based on huge mistakes in my first marriage that are more or less solved in my second marriage. They make my life a lot easier. I feel safe and secure in my marriage and strive to make Tibs feel the same way. It's nice.
