2 pieces of advice for future parents

[Joods]

1. Duct tape is cheaper than daycare

2. There is no #2

I can attest to this. 

1. Make sure you run out of fucks to give before you have kids, that way, when you need to discipline them out in public, you can easily use embarrassment as a weapon. 

2. Don't make empty threats 50 times and then wonder why your kids don't listen. Follow through with the threat the first time and they will take you seriously from then on out.