RE: Have you ever said or done really stupid things on purpose just to feel less empty?
October 13, 2017 at 6:21 pm
(This post was last modified: October 13, 2017 at 6:23 pm by Edwardo Piet.)
I don't regret my former actions either as it's pointless. And I do seem to be able to use logic to avoid emotions like regret and guilt. They've been long gone for a long while now . . . as has anger. Although I've seemed angry not too long ago in the past but those times I'd say it's just been frustration and linguistic combativeness. It's been a long long while since I've felt genuine anger.
It's a pity that I can't do the same for sadness and despair when they hit as I do for regret and guilt when I make them disappear. And yet, at the same time, they're often as welcome to me as they are overwhelming . . . as sometimes it's just good to feel like I feel something.
And yet . . . I'm nevertheless not depressed. Just rather lost really. Life has that unreal feeling to it right now if it has any sort of feeling at all. I feel so small it's not even worthless or low self esteem. I don't feel bad. I don't even feel empty. I feel almost unreal or like I don't exist at all. Although I know I obviously exist literally speaking as a human being. I mean duh
It's a pity that I can't do the same for sadness and despair when they hit as I do for regret and guilt when I make them disappear. And yet, at the same time, they're often as welcome to me as they are overwhelming . . . as sometimes it's just good to feel like I feel something.
And yet . . . I'm nevertheless not depressed. Just rather lost really. Life has that unreal feeling to it right now if it has any sort of feeling at all. I feel so small it's not even worthless or low self esteem. I don't feel bad. I don't even feel empty. I feel almost unreal or like I don't exist at all. Although I know I obviously exist literally speaking as a human being. I mean duh
