New atheist here, gotta say, not loving it

[Aroura]

So, I've been denying my atheism for years, but man, I just can't do it anymore. That said, there's a reason I've been avoiding it. I'm terrified right now. I don't get how anyone's supposed to be happy like this.

I feel like...all I can do is cope with life now. I don't see what there is to look forward to, or to take reassurance in. Everything just seems empty.

(Why yes, I'm on meds and seeing a counselor. Doesn't help much.)

Hi there!

Please ignore the curmudgeons.  They mean well.

I went through quite a bout of anger/depression/fear after finally letting go of God.  I will tell you, it lasted year, and I still get bouts of it.  But it gets better! I swear it.

Likely you are feeling a lot of things.  Fear of death now that the afterlife seems a more remote possibility, lack of inherent meaning, lack of equality of fairness because no one fixes it all, anger that you were lied to or that other people are foolish enough to not see through the lies., etc.  I don't want to put words or ideas in your mind, just trying to point out that it's quite common and normal to have a lot of mixed, negative emotions at this early stage.

I recommend patience and understanding with yourself, and trying to see the humor in it all.  Find like minded people to talk to, and don't give up on yourself! Find things that are meaningful to you, and let those things guide you.

Also, I recommend you watch to This (Julia Sweeney, letting go of God).  I hope it gives you a laugh, and some perspective.

PM me if you need to chat more.  Peace.