New atheist here, gotta say, not loving it

[Fireball]

If you never truly believed then what have you lost? I don't understand. Did you not believe you'd go to heaven?

As a kid, I believed that, yeah. I guess I'm having a hard time explaining it. 

I lost hope, but...its more that I've never "gained" anything, in growing up. No purpose, no meaning, nothing.

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I wouldn't know, people have wildly divergent ideas on that.  I'm simply suggesting that if you saw it in anything before apart from god..it;s still there now..and if you only saw it in god before..it was never there to begin with.  There's just no change.

LOL, oh I think we can shoot lower than all that.  Some people aren't fulfilled by life or family.  If you weren't before, it's no surprise that you aren't now.  If you were before..well...you're still alive and they still exist.  

Okay then.  Have you always felt that there was no transcendant good and no reason for suffering and life was meaningless and there's no point in doing anything?  Your earlier comments seemed to indicate a change, and a change that had something to do with atheism..but if you've always been an atheist..........?

The change is that I was clinging onto the hope that all that stuff was there, and now I've given up trying to force that fantasy. But now that leaves me with no reason to get out of bed in the morning.

All that shit that needs to get done? All those tigers to tame? Yes, I agree with Khemical, you may be depressed. I know that I've been there. You make your own reality, you can't depend on anyone else doing it for you. I felt adrift for awhile after admitting I was an atheist, after a bit of not believing (like 20 years). The atheist label is hard to accept in this culture, though it is getting easier. Find something that you enjoy, if you can. Like Voltaire says in Candide, one finds joy in tending one's garden. Find your garden. OK, that's all kind of disjointed; I've been awake far too long because of a sick dog. See if you can parse anything useful out of it.