By a quite astonishing conjunction of like minds that could lead one to believe in the existence of thought transference, some of my topmost pet peeves are contained within the confines of this short presentation:
Others that for some reason didn't appear to make the cut include:
I'll probably think of a few more later.
Others that for some reason didn't appear to make the cut include:
- The word 'bunch' as a collective noun for literally every plural in existence.
- The word 'literally' used when you obviously aren't being literal.
- "10 items or less". I understand that commercial printing is expensive and the attention span of the average supermarket shopper probably isn't the greatest, but the correct word 'fewer' is only two letters and one syllable longer and wouldn't make me queue up with eleven items in my basket purely out of spite.
- That stupid heat-shrunk stiff plastic packaging that is impossible to open without access to tools and which leaves artery-slicing sharp edges even if you manage to do so. Particularly egregious items packed this way include scissors, which require even sharper scissors to enable you to access the scissors you bought because you didn't have any scissors in the first place.
- Adverts crafted and staged precisely to engender as much murderous irritation as is inhumanly possible. I'm thinking - or rather, trying not to think -of that ridiculously annoying 'Go Compare' abomination, which research leads me to understand qualifies as a hate crime. There's a clear line between memorable, which is obviously what they're aiming for, and deeply unpleasant, which is what they keep hitting. And which makes me want to do the same to my television.
I'll probably think of a few more later.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
