Divorce questions/thoughts

[CapnAwesome]

A consensual affair is one thing. That's totally up to the people involved. Her saying off-hand one night that he can have an affair doesn't necessarily mean she's actually consenting to the affair he's about to have. He needs to actually tell her, which he said he isn't going to, which makes it cheating. Mid-life crises don't excuse bad behavior.

Well I think the best option is to communicate with her about it. We don't have the whole story, but I don't think people grasp how common consensual affairs are in long term marriages. Very common. Personally I think it would be a big mistake to throw away 20 years of friendship by getting a divorce. That is going to hurt his wife way more than him getting laid.

A sexless marriage is a perfectly good reason to cheat. But I'm going to wager that his wife is okay with it. Only way to know for sure is to ask her. There is no good reason to not bring her up to speed, and the sooner the better. Before you get further involved with this other person. Have a few drinks and talk about it. Not how your wife can meet your needs, but if she's okay with someone else. It might even be a relief to her!

Do this BEFORE. Worst case?? Her feelings are hurt and you get a divorce. But that hurt will be far less than if you just sneak around. However I have a strong feeling she will be okay with it. IF YOU TALK TO HER ABOUT IT! Lies will hurt more than the sex.

And you know what? This next woman probably won't be able to fulfill every emotional and sexual need you have either.