Divorce questions/thoughts

[CapnAwesome]

I don't think people grasp how common consensual affairs are in long term marriages.  Very common. Personally I think it would be a big mistake to throw away 20 years of friendship by getting a divorce.  That is going to hurt his wife way more than him getting laid.

My best friend is a dominatrix who has never had anything but an open relationship. Judging by how many like-minded friends she has, it's very common and not necessarily very complicated. It just has to be everyone's decision. For me, it would be him lying to me that hurt me more than the sex.

A sexless marriage is a perfectly good reason to cheat.

I disagree. It's a good reason to reconsider the marriage or ask for an open relationship, but it's not a good enough reason to cheat. Cheating is super duper shitty.

Well asking is obviously the best option for him. I mean, there doesn't seem much downside to it. However forcing someone to be monogamous and then not putting out (for years!) If there is a justification for cheating, it's that. I mean, I'd say cheating and hiding it (Not that I think that is possible) would cause way less harm then a mess divorce where you have to split up assets. Is it ideal? No, obviously not. But he has talked to her about trying to have more sex multiple times. So it's hard to fault him if he were just getting laid every once in a while. Of course that's not what's happening here. He's having (Or about to have) a romantic affair, which is really worst case scenario.