Ask someone with Asperger's syndrome.

[GrandizerII]

Awww she sounds really nice.

She is. She can be way too kind and patient with me.

Do you struggle in group conversations and are better at one on ones? I sure as hell do. In a group I'm either the only one who isn't talking and has no idea when it's his turn to speak... or I'm the only one talking and I'm feeling really anxious worrying if I'm talking too much and need to shut the fuck up and worrying if I'm making too many jokes. And then I make one and no one laughs. Etc. Lol.

I sure do. I definitely prefer one on ones over group conversations. Or at least a conversation with two or three other people at most. Beyond that, it becomes a crowd to me. And when in a crowd, I always stay silent unless someone directly asks me something. All the while, I'm consciously self-observing to make sure I'm not coming off as awkward in my body language and facial expression, making sure I'm maintaining good eye contact with whoever is speaking, and smiling like a nervous wreck. I despise group talk.

The reason why I'm hoping I do is I'm just so tired of struggling all my life with things and not knowing why. So to just have some kind of explanation and possible support, and hell, maybe even make some friends (outside the internet I don't have any friends) because I can join autism and Aspie groups, etc.... it will just make my life so much easier.

Yep. I'm with you on this.

These are all things that have been said to me by professionals. GPs and psychs, mind you. None of them know anything about autism. My psych actually said that he knew nothing about it.

What irritates me about professionals like those is that they won't even then attempt to learn more about this disorder. In their minds, they already know all they need to know.

Not long ago I told a mental health support worker or social worker (something like that, I forget her exact job title) about this.... and when I said "But he says that unfortunately there's no such thing as acutely-sensitive-to-stress-syndrome) she said "Yes there is and it's called autism."

Interesting.

She also said that she is certain I have Asperger's and she thinks I will end up with a diagnosis, just after 30 minutes of knowing me. She has a son who has Asperger's.

Yeah, some people are really good at judging if someone is very likely to have autism or not, even when it's not obvious to the untrained eye.

By the way, how many people here who would take a look at this interview with Dan Aykroyd not realize that he has autism?





But ... he is acting normal, right? He sure is. In fact, he kills it in this interview. But he's also trying hard not to mess it up.

Another interview with Dan Aykroyd from this link:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/articl...hosts.html

At one point in the interview, he says the following:

I also have Asperger’s but I can manage it. It wasn’t diagnosed until the early Eighties when my wife persuaded me to see a doctor. One of my symptoms included my obsession with ghosts and law enforcement — I carry around a police badge with me, for example. I became obsessed by Hans Holzer, the greatest ghost hunter ever. That’s when the idea of my film Ghostbusters was born.

But how? He's a famous comedian? People with Asperger's can be funny???

But wait a minute ... you know what other famous comedian is suspected to have autism?

Jerry Seinfeld.

He even suspects it himself, but of course, the public aren't too willing to accept this. No way two famous people can have autism. They're too successful to have Asperger's ... is what they argue.

But people who think this way have no idea. They think autism has to be visible to everyone, that failure in life has to be an inevitability of having autism, that people with autism are generally boring, that it's not enough to know for oneself whether or not they're on the spectrum.

Wrong.

If you really read this far and didn't skip any of my rambling, then thank you very much

No worries. I'm making sure I read every word posted in this thread.

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What's your favourite cheese?

Serious boring answer:
La Vache Qui Rit (The Cow That Laughs)

And if this was a reference, I didn't get it. Sorry.

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What's your favourite cheese?

Damnit now I really hope I get diagnosed just so I'm allowed to answer the cheese question.

Is this something to do with a burger by any chance?

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How do you feel about the somewhat romanticizing of aspergers?

Misleading. Here's the thing:

People with Asperger's aren't always of above average intelligence (IQ-wise).

People with Asperger's aren't always logical. Perhaps, they're generally less emotional in their word usages than neurotypicals, but emotional and logical are not opposites of each other. The "opposite" of emotional is "less emotional".

People with Asperger's aren't necessarily honest. Speaking for myself, I have extreme difficulty lying on the spot and difficulty with social bullshitting, but when I have to lie (whether for my own protection or to protect someone I care about), I will prepare beforehand in the hope of doing so convincingly.

And while there are a lot of things about me to be proud of, that may or may not be attributable to having Asperger's, I do sometimes envy neurotypicals and have nothing but admiration for how "skillful" they often are with their socializing. I look at my brothers, both younger than me, and wonder what it's like to be in their shoes: to bond with people so easily, and to have this fluent social thing about them. And how far they have come in life.

Why do you think some people fake/self diagnose with aspergers?

These are two separate questions.

Fake, I don't know. If that's a thing in this case, then most likely for attention. What else could it be?

Self-diagnose? Probably because it costs money to get a proper diagnosis, but they nevertheless can tell they have this based on what they have read about this condition. Nothing wrong with this, as long as they self-evaluate properly and confirm these evaluations multiple times to themselves, considering various factors and ruling out all other probable disorders.

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You were kind of shy and an introvert, was it anything more than that? Autism spectrum disorder is not primarily an anxiety disorder or verbal communication disorder. It is a pervasive [neuro]developmental disorder that doesn't just simply go away with life experience and opportunity to thrive in society, and it manifests in different ways in people with autism (just as there are all sorts of types [personality, intellectual, etc.] among neurotypical people). Expecting people with autism to rectify their struggles with this condition is like expecting a man with damaged legs who can't walk as a result to just get up and walk, no problem. It doesn't work that way, and if that had been the case, I would not have been still struggling with socialization, considering I've put in a lot of time and effort into becoming a better person socially. So perhaps not mentally impossible, but it's definitely extremely challenging for people like me to stop having this condition.

FTR, one need not be an introvert or shy to be diagnosable with autism. There is such a thing as an extroverted person with autism, believe it or not.

Also, if indeed you do have autism, then perhaps you're of the really high functioning type whose condition isn't as bad as mine (high functioning though I may be). Or you're like my brothers, who used to be really shy when they were younger but were still nevertheless neurotypical. I don't know you from Adam, but anything is possible.

Cool cool cool. So like what in your opinion are the top 3 symptoms of autism?

No such thing. You either meet the minimum number of criteria for this and that, and therefore you have autism, or you barely miss the minimum number and you have sub-clinical "autism", or you clearly don't meet the criteria and you're a pure red-blooded neurotypical.