(April 13, 2018 at 9:41 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: Brian was so far off of what I considered 'fucking handsome' at the time it did not occur to me (for years) that I had fallen for him 'lock stock and barrel' despite evincing some extremely clear 'symptoms'. The man I was dating at the time picked up on it, realized it was spontaneous and wasn't something I sought out to happen, and was enough of a gentleman to not mention it too me, believing instead it was going to be something I would need to work out on my own. While he was correct, I don't think he realized that was going to be an endeavor that was going to take a decade.
Brian was always tall and thin, HIV made him very skinny indeed before he died. His appearance is of no consequence to me. it wasn't then (unwittingly to me) and it isn't to this day. Curiously, I do not and have not imagined 'sexy time' with Brian, despite my feelings for him. He's gone, he's been gone for more years than he was alive, and it's never been a 'thing' for me to think about him that way. I do recall (and treasure) memories of hugging him, helping him march in a gay rights/HIV parade, sharing a can of pop, and just spending time with him.
And watching him waste away . . .
. . . six years before we had the AIDS cocktail' to fight the disease.
Its hard to watch someone you love die slowly, knowing all you can do is be a comfort.
And to lighten the mood here are some kittens.
You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.
Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.