Eternal bliss

[The Valkyrie]

Heaven is full of all the good things like brocolli and brussel sprouts and self control and none of the bad evil things like bacon and alcohol and kinky sex.
I think I'll go push an old lady in front of a bus...

Archbishop of Canterbury to dying wealthy landowner: “Heaven is for those people who like what goes on in heaven. Like talking to god, watering pot plants, those kind of things. While hell is for those who like war, fornication, and the like.”