Hello, New atheist having a meltdown

[Dragonfly]

Welcome.

I escaped at a much earlier age and over a longer period. Being young and cocky I didn't experience the fear.

I think the best thing you can do is keep talking about it. The fear will subside a little more each day. Eventually you'll be able to laugh at what you did and went thru. 

Memories are better than heaven.

Thank you. I am really glad to have found this forum. I guess one of my fears is that I'll somehow have a breakdown and try to go back to religion, but I really doubt this is possible. Once you've seen the man behind the curtain, there's no going back.

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I’m very happy you’re here. Welcome.  
I was born into and raised in an Evangelical home. My parents were pastors. I deconverted about 8 or 9 years ago. My parents deconverted recently and it was a very difficult change. They’re 60 now and are enjoying life more than ever. At first it was difficult for them to assimilate that they had centered their life around something nonexistent, and based on that raised us with unnecessary limitations, but now we’ve all decided to stop wasting more time dwelling in the past and instead enjoy the one chance we have at living. I’m a PM away, if you ever need to vent. Hope you like it here and stay.  

-Ivy

Thank you, Ivy. Amazing your whole family got out. My parents are 79. I don't have the heart to tell them I've completely lost faith and why they should, too. They're too invested. Knowing I'm no longer a believer in any God would probably be even more painful than my conversion to Judaism was, and the idea that they could leave now is unrealistic; they're too invested.