Hello, New atheist having a meltdown

[AFTT47]

I just came to this realization tonight, and I feel absolutely devastated and lost. I'm a 50-year-old woman who's spent her life making choices based on religion. There is no God to comfort me, guide me, protect me, or intervene in my life. There is no Heaven. I will never see my family, friends, or pets again once they/I die. My entire schema for living has fallen apart. I feel devastated and terrified.  

If you have any guidance, please help me. 

thanks,

dragonfly

Goodness, you certainly do sound you need to talk this out. I'm in the same category as your boyfriend so I can't intuit what you're going through but as you've already seen, there are others here who have gone through the deconversion thing. I hope you find what you need here.