Alabama judge says "jail or church?"

[Rev. Rye]

I would have overwhelmingly chosen jail until I read this...

If the one-year church attendance program is completed, the offender's case will be dismissed.

If you go to church, the case will be dismissed entirely. That is a tough call.

30 days in jail vs. 52 days in church.

More like 52 non-consecutive hours, of course. Granted, those hours may be mind-numbingly dull, but odds are, you will have a handout of all the stuff that's going to happen, and a golf pencil in the pew. Put these to good use and play five-finger fillet. If at all possible, try to learn several variations and use this time to hone your skills. And, of course, no anal rape unless you're an altar boy in a Catholic church. And, besides, if you were to get raped, would you rather get raped by?
or