IF you deconverted in midlife, can you help?

[KevinM1]

The one thing that I'm taking away from this thread is that some people just can't resist the opportunity to be abusive boundary-violators.  Fuck them and fuck whatever "Holy Spirit" predisposes them to be such insufferable, pretentious and useless assholes.  If I actually needed a reason not to be a Christian...

(stops hyperventilating, unrolls fists, resumes typing)

To the OP:  Although I was skeptical of religion from childhood, it took till well into middle age before I realized that my brain simply doesn't "do" religious faith.  Up until that moment, I had been a religion and philosophy dabbler, looking for a suitable community that I could get enthusiastic about.  When the veil fell away and I realized why I never fit in, it came as a relief.  "Is it me?"  Yes it is, and I'm much happier not trying to play along or "fake it till I make it."

Yes, he knows nothing of boundaries, and he's hijacked a thread in which I really needed help. Christians are some of the best indicators that the Christian god doesn't exist. 

Regarding your history of religion, I'm starting to believe the same. I've tried to make it work all of my life, trying to believe things that are said to have happened thousands of years ago as well as make them somehow relevant for our time. I've loved the crutch, the easy accessibility to God in prayer, the belief that he had everything under control and that there was a divine purpose to everything. I've felt a need to have this god to get through the hard times in life. In belief, however, there was a lot of fear at the bottom of these beliefs. 


Now I'm left with some lingering questions and wondering if there's any reason to attend a Jewish synagogue if it's a liberal one that doesn't take everything literally . I would be welcome I need and want community to turn to, especially when times get hard. The structure, the life-affirming rituals, the community aspect, the emphasis on intellect and study and repairing the world, and so on are really hard to leave behind. I feel defensive about Judaism in these forums, not feeling that liberal Judaism holds many of hte downsides of Christianity and some of the other religions.

I don't think anyone here can give you a simple cure for what you're going through. For one, most of us were raised as some form of Christian, so trying to apply what helped some of us in a somewhat different context (Judaism) simply isn't going to match 1:1.

Second, there's no real need to, for lack of a better phrase, quit cold turkey. You may no longer believe in a god, but that shouldn't be a barrier to the things you yourself just claimed gave you comfort. You can be an atheist and still value intellect, study, and attempting to repair the world (indeed, that's largely what Secular Humanism is). Moreover, like (I believe) Jor said in the other thread, Secular Judaism is a thing that exists: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jewish_secularism.

I mean, I was brought up in a Catholic household. I haven't believed in god for nearly 20 years now, but I still celebrate Christmas and Easter. Not as holidays celebrating the birth and resurrection of Christ, but as holidays reaffirming the bonds between family and friends while also marking the transition of one year to the next, or the transition from winter to spring and summer, respectively. The lack of a divine element doesn't dampen how or why I celebrate.

Third, please remember that none of us are trained mental health specialists. If you're suffering from depression and/or anxiety, please consider finding someone trained in those things to talk to face-to-face. You're going through a big change with one of the most fundamental aspects of how you perceive the world and your place in it. There's nothing wrong in getting an outside perspective from someone trained in helping people handle these kinds of things. You're not wrong to feel what you're feeling, but sometimes it's hard to find a way to get through it in a healthy way.

Finally, you're always welcome here. We have a section of the forum where you can more or less spout off, or provide a diary, or mostly whatever else: https://atheistforums.org/forum-84.html So, if you just need to vent or whatever, feel free to do so.