IF you deconverted in midlife, can you help?

[Chicken]

Well, Dragonfly, I was raised Jewish, so I never had preconceived notions of an afterlife, really. Hell doesn't really exist for Jews. However, I did have hopes that all my loved ones would go to heaven for a long time. Grappling with the afterlife is very difficult. It all stems from biological survival instincts and more subtly, the memory of loved ones living on somewhere. Hell, on the other hand, is a malicious lie. I don't know where to begin to remove that from your thoughts but I am postive it will go away in time, and if you have a secular therapist to help you it will happen much faster, I guarantee that. I have had my fair share of post-theistic depression and existential crisis, and it all goes away eventually. Just keep asking those questions, further cement the truth into your brain, and sooner or later you view all this religious nonsense as nothing more than a fairytale. Do you remember when you discovered Santa Claus wasn't real? For a child, that is pretty heart-breaking, it was for me when I found the magical toothfairy wasn't real either. I know God is much grander than Santa Claus, but you aren't still caught up on Santa now, are you? That is pretty much exactly how I view God now, grand or not, and I feel much better for it. Just for emphasis, you WILL get over this in time, you just need to get through this choppy few months and it will start to stabilize. Don't stop expanding your horizons and broadening your mind, and rationality will take over any emotional response you have in the moment.