IF you deconverted in midlife, can you help?

[Dragonfly]

I’m 50.

I think the OP is better off accepting some sort of intellectual compromise instead of going through a bunch of existential angst at this point. WTF if you’re uncomfortable with atheism fuck it. It’s not like my disbelief does me any fucking good.

In Denial of Death Becker breaks down Kierkegaard to something like believing stupid shit is simply better and easier for most people.

Maybe the OP could just be like well this shit doesn’t make sense but whatever god is beyond our understanding. I trust in a loving god and I’m going to heaven. Easy peezy. Billions do it, in fact. Give the ol noodle a break

---

Ab- if you think I’m a closet theist I’m not

I just started re-reading this thread to make sure I didn't miss anything, and it appears I missed your post. 

Regarding "if you're uncomfortable with atheism fuck it:" You can't force belief in something when you're losing that belief. I can't help the existential angst; it's apparently part of the process. 

Added Denial of Death to my reading list. I can't believe the stupid shit any longer. Yes, I'm having issues during the deconversion process, but I am stubborn and a questioner. I think I'm pretty intellectually honest, and I can't just somehow fake a belief in god when there are so many things wrong with the holy books, beliefs, and conduct of believers.