My deconversion took a while too it's not easy ridding oneself of all of that unholy baggage of falsities and fallacies.I literally had the fear of the Lord in me and left the fold with some of that fear still in me it took at least three years to fully say God does not exist etc. and embrace my atheism fully.
There is nothing people will not maintain when they are slaves to superstition
http://chatpilot-godisamyth.blogspot.com/
http://chatpilot-godisamyth.blogspot.com/