[Serious] Please convince me gender is binary

[bennyboy]

There are actual women, and there are biological males who act in ways that women generally act.  To pretend there are no norms, no general trends that are defined by physical phenotype, is to ignore the reality of the human species.

No one pretends that there are no cultural norms, no one.  The only reality of the human species being discussed by gender conformity or non conformity is the reality of gender constructs.  There is no specific, species wide reality of gender whatsoever, regardless of the fact that we do or don't have a specific set of genitalia.   

Yes, but they are more and more pretending that cultural norms aren't to some degree the ideation of species norms. "Gender constructs" aren't just made up by a toxic-masculine patriarchy out of thin air.

I'll give an example. On the whole, in a breeding couple, if one parent stays home, it will be the woman. This is, pretty obviously, because babies bond with their mothers, and because it's hard to do work with a baby hanging off of your breast. You can say that the idea of a woman staying at home, cooking and cleaning and so on, is just a made-up stereotype-- except it isn't. On average, men are bigger than women; in a high-paying office job, this matters (or should matter) not at all. But if a family is in an economic bracket where work is likely to mean topping trees or operating heavy machinery in a coal mine or something-- it's almost for sure going to be men simply because of their physical attributes. These men are very unlikely to wear dresses and high heels to maximize their appeal-- they are going to wear baggy old jeans, plaid shirts, and so on.

So no. I dispute that many of the so-called "gender constructs" are arbitrary. I embrace anyone who wants to try to redefine themselves or their lives-- nobody has to be normal, unless not being so harms others. But at the root of it all is not made-up role playing, or a "cultural norm." It's the physical reality of the human species of animal.