[Serious] Please convince me gender is binary

[bennyboy]

I consider myself to be the following;  70% female, 20% male, and 10% guilt.  (Or, in other words, 20% male/80% female.)

First of all, let me say I'm ROFL right now.

Second, to me what you are describing is what I'd call a binary mix-- it's still only male and female, but one person is conscious of expressing both.  Since it's true that almost all people exhibit at least some traits that are nontypical for their birth gender, then I don't think that expressing a mix is a third gender: it's just being human. If there were traits that were unique ONLY to another gender but not to male or female, then I'd call that a third gender.

In some cases, things are much more balanced-- sometimes physically, definitely mentally, and that makes choosing one or the other as a label impossible.  I get that-- but I don't see that as a problem with gender ideas-- it's a problem with trying to fit a multi-axial definition under the umbrella of ANY single word.

I know for sure that "gay," for example, means different things to different homosexual men.  There are delicate, Ice Queen, special princess gotta-make-me-the-center-of-everything gay men, and there are ultra-butch, always-on-top badass gay mother-fuckers with big muscles, scary tattoos and stints in Iraq.  I'm pretty sure there are gay forums where people have fights over what it means to be gay, and demanding that their particular flavor of homosexuality needs to have its own special term.

But for the rest of us, "Did you know? Chad's gay" or "Jehanne is a trans woman" is about as far as I really care to know.  I won't ask you out on a date (well, at least we'd have to have some pretty damned life-changing conversations for me to do that, I'd guess), or try to set you up with my sister (unless I think she'd be into it).  If I want to know more, I'll ask.  But I don't want to have to do any more work than that: use new pronouns, try to remember each individual's special title, or so on.

In short, I don't want to have to consider the many different ways in which normally male and female characteristics might mix, and have dozens of special terms for them. There are much more important categories that I want to consider most of the time. The most important one is bennyboy-with-enough-money, and bennyboy-without-enough-money. I sometimes identify as the first, but I'd say the latter more accurately describes me.