(July 26, 2019 at 2:35 pm)Jake Wrote: Hey guys!
I was raised Roman Catholic, at moments I was definitely believing some of this stuff. For example, I tried to stay away from masturbation (not really succeed), thought that sex desires are somehow sinful and sex before marriage is bad. After moving out to college I went to church handful of times and after confronting my beliefs with my atheist (at the time) roommate I started to seeing how it all could be false.
It's been around 3 years I started deconverting and I'm still not fully atheist. I feel like religion is still capturing my mind. I know that to some of you some of this stuff might sound pretty silly, but maybe some of exbelievers will be able to help me to sort it out.
Okay, so for the starters I find almost no logical reason to believe in god. Like I can see how someone can find pro-theistic arguments convincing when they start from the position that deity exist, but all of them can be easily refuted.
But I have all these feelings. Like anything that is frowned upon by Catholic church is bad, that I know that Christianity is true, that I'm trying to delude myself from truth, that afterlife exists, that atheist are wrong... it's really messing with me. Like if it's all false, why than am I still experiencing this? I'm in my early twenties, I want to have the best time of my life, party, have sex and stuffBut there is still this voice in the back of my head, and though I'm trying to do these things, they are accompanied by worries and guilt. I would like to be convinced that god doesn't exist and start living my only life, but I have this inner block. I'm in the constant battle with myself over this. Also I'm really confused and scared why I feel this way.
Can anyone relate? Any tips? If it's also okay in later posts I will question you about some of my doubts about atheism in later posts. Thanks!
As others have said, give yourself time. Just know that the feelings of doubt you are experiencing are due to a lifetime of conditioning and indoctrination.
They started their conditioning from before your mind was able to even understand most of it, and you had no critical thinking skills.
There are plenty of people, that despite being atheists for years, still have nightmares of hell.
To give yourself a bit of perspective when you are going through some period of doubt, think about how much time you spend worrying about the punishments that all the other gods you weren't indoctrinated into believing (Allah, Vishnu, Ahura Mazda, etc, etc), have in store for you, for not believing they exist.
You might want to contact Recovering From Religion. They have a hotline for people in your exact position.
Recovering From Religion
You'd believe if you just opened your heart" is a terrible argument for religion. It's basically saying, "If you bias yourself enough, you can convince yourself that this is true." If religion were true, people wouldn't need faith to believe it -- it would be supported by good evidence.
