Dogs or cats?

[Athene]

If guess if I were forced to care for one as a companion, I'd go with a dog. Dogs can be smelly, slobbering, overly-excitable, needy nuisances--But I don't regard them as intrinsically irritating and EVIL like I do cats. 
I used to check in on an elderly neighbor who had both. The dog was big, slobbering, lummox of a Lab mix that barked his ass off every time he heard so much a leaf fall outside, and I'm pretty sure 
Don-O weighed nearly as much as me as evidenced by the way he nearly knocked me on my ass every time I came in the door.

But, oh that cat...That fucker KNEW I couldn't stand her, and made it a point strut onto my lap with her talons and plop her fat ass on my lap. She would stare at me as if to say "Now, stroke me."
"No way. I'm not stroking you Cat. Now get off of my lap. Please. "
Then she would just continuously walk across my lap, back and forth, digging her claws into my thighs like a pure asshole.

Oh, yes. My neighbor was in total denial about her precious Bootsie.
"Oh, Bootsie doesn't climb on tables or counters. She's a very good cat! Extremely well-behaved."
Lol...Yeah, right. Every time I saw Bootsie enter the kitchen, she made a beeline for the counter-top dish drainer and sat her stinky cat-butt right in it.
Disgusting.

Invariably, my neighbor would ask "Would you like something to drink, honey? Meat loaf? A piece of cake?

Um...FUCK NO. Lol