[Serious] Atheist married to Pentecostal. Anyone else in this situation?

[hayabusa2003]

Not married to a Pentecostal but was raised by them. My SO is ex-Baha'i vaguely theist and we just don't argue about it; neither of us feels that strongly about it and she does not attend. So I don't have that hard a row to hoe compared to you. I've seen a marriage torn apart by one spouse losing their religious belief while the other retained theirs but not one an atheist married a Pentecostal before.

It seems in this instance she has changed, going from 'mildly religious' back serious Holy Roller; while you maintain roughly the same stance. If it was me, with so much invested in the relationship, and not having to go see her acting that way in church; I think it's something I could live with; but it's clearly distressing to you.

If the difference were something else, I'd suggest compromise; but you can't really expect a fundamentalist to compromise on their religion.

The only advice I can give is to tell her, gently, how you feel. Not that you want a divorce, she should not be hearing about that until you've explored other options, but she needs to understand that it really bothers you. And seek non-pastoral counseling; or if she must have it that way, both pastoral counseling and counseling by a qualified secular marriage counselor as well.

Best of luck, I would not want to have to wrestle with what you're going through.

Thanks for the reply. Yes it is very distressing for me. So much so that I've pondered for months now about whether I wanna be married to a full blown "holy roller". It's like a solid wall is between us and it's one that I can't get through. She's on one side and I'm on the other. Neither of us are changing our views and so here we are in this situation. I don't wanna end up the villain here. I'm not trying to hurt anyone. I definitely don't wanna hurt my wife or kids. It's kept me up nights wondering what to do. Doesn't help that I have no one to confide in. I live in an area dominated by the Pentecostal faith. I know of no other non believers so I stand alone here.