[Serious] Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.

[AFTT47]

I believe the concept of a "perfect mate" is as fictional as Alice in Wonderland. Given the population of the world and even individual countries, there are likely tens of thousands of individuals out there (at least) who fit the criteria of "perfect mate" for most people. It's just a matter of finding one of them.

But human beings are not swans. We're much more complicated. Will a "perfect mate" remain a "perfect mate" forever? Extremely unlikely. Both partners will change and evolve as they age. Will they change and evolve in perfect sync? Extremely unlikely.

I strongly believe that the fairy tale concept of the "perfect mate" is responsible for a great deal of unhappiness and misery. It is completely out of whack with reality. People need to take responsibility for their own happiness. Other people can certainly play a huge roll in one's happiness but one should never depend on that. You can only control what is in your own head. You have no control over the thoughts or actions of another. You need to to be okay independent of what anyone else thinks or does.

Hopefully, part of human evolution will be moving beyond the ridiculously unrealistic expectation of finding the "perfect mate" who's thoughts and desires are perfectly in sync with your's - forever and ever.