[Serious] Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.

[Porcupine]

I'm someone who believes that there good be thousands of "perfect" matches out there for me. I'm very lucky to be with one of them right now. But if I were to ever lose him, for whatever reason, I don't think I'd lose hope - I know there must be more awesome people out there. Obviously, I'd be devastated - I love my partner like crazy. It's perfectly normal to mourn someone you've lost. Feel the grief, experience it. Examine it. Work your way through it in whatever way works best for you. On the other side of it, when you're ready, you can start meeting new people. You never know - someone may surprise you.

I also know that there are thousands of other perfect people out there for me. But there are 7 billion people on this planet and I just think such people are so incredibly rare to find that finding one of them is a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Don't get me wrong, there are other relationships out there that might leave me better off than being single. Perhaps. But I am starting to doubt that too.

The problem is that it seems to me that I would always be settling for second best because although it may be true that there are plenty of fish in the sea the truth is that each of us only get to be with all the fish in a single pond and the likelihood that I haven't found the best fish in that pond is very small. I could settle for other fish in the pond that are still good for me ... but I'll never find another one like the #1 fish that I already found.

Let's put it this way ... in life we often have multiple relationships and at some point we find the best relationship in our life. That best relationship could be your first relationship or your last relationship or it could be somewhere in the middle. In my case I believe it's the person I've just been with and it's somewhere in the middle. The chances that future relationships will be good for me are good. The chances that I'll ever find someone that good for me are basically nonexistent, it seems to me. So the question is, now what?

And the problem is. Once I recognize this then future relationships may be "fun" but they will always be settling for second best. And so, they will be shallow to me. So, they will be good for me, maybe, but will they even be any better than being single? I can be happy being single and I'm not sure that settling for a second best relationship is any better than being single.

I don't think there's literally one person in life that is 'meant for us' who we are 'meant to be with'. But I do understand why so many people feel that way because while it isn't literally true I do think it's effectively true. At least to us monogamous romantics.