[Serious] Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.

[Porcupine]

There may only be so many fish in your pond, but those fish change over time, in the same way you change over time. If I had met my fish five years ago, we would NOT have worked, and I'd have assumed that fish would never be for me.

I agree with this.

Another thing: relationships are about two people.

I agree with this too.

So, while they may have been perfect for you, you may not have been perfect for them (though I'm sure you're perfect for someone!!).

I agree with this. But it may also be the case that I'm the best they will ever get just like they will be the best I will ever get.

If you weren't perfect for them, they're definitely not perfect for you.

I agree with this but I don't believe in absolute perfection. To me "perfect for me" just means "the best I will ever get".

There are also ways of exploring new ponds, or expanding the one you're in!

Well, I don't think that I can explore new ponds or expand the one I am in because I am defining the pond as all the water that I will explore in my lifetime relationship-wise.

The internet is a wonderful thing, my friend. You might also want to try to adjust the way you look at relationships. It's tempting to rate the people you've been with on the "perfect for me or not" scale. But instead, if you just see them as different, you might find a new perspective. Comparing people to each other may not be the way to go.

It's possible that I could find somebody else who was just as good for me but in a different way. But I don't think it's remotely likely.

Like, if I was to make a single criticism of my loved one it would be that she is perhaps not disagreeable enough. But she's so perfect in every other way, and it's so much better than somebody who can't handle disagreements with me which is all my other friends and relationships, that I don't consider it even a flaw. Because, like I said, I don't believe in absolute perfection. I discount that as a flaw when it's the only one I can think of and it's so minor that it basically doesn't count because there's no way I'll find anybody slightly more disagreeable who is overall better than her. Everything else about her is 100% perfect to me and she's only lacking in disagreeability by something like 1%. Like, she doesn't enjoy debates, etc. I could imagine enjoying debates with a girlfriend. But I can't imagine that girlfriend having enough of the other wonderful qualities that she has. There's just no way I'll ever meet anybody better than her. It's logically possible. But it's so incredibly unlikely.

Okay, let me ask a more specific question. Hypothetically, if you were to accept my premise that I really will never meet somebody as wonderful for me as her ... then what?