[Serious] Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.

[Gnomey]

But I can't imagine that girlfriend having enough of the other wonderful qualities that she has. There's just no way I'll ever meet anybody better than her. It's logically possible. But it's so incredibly unlikely.

Okay, let me ask a more specific question. Hypothetically, if you were to accept my premise that I really will never meet somebody as wonderful for me as her ... then what?

Remember, you change too! Someone who's "perfect" for you now may not be perfect for future you. In the future, you may meet someone perfect for future you, and she may be completely different than the person who was perfect for present you.

But, to answer your question. Let's say you never find a match as perfect for any version of you as the one you've lost.

You carry on.

Just because your next person isn't perfect for you, doesn't mean you won't find meaning in a relationship with them. Or, if you choose to remain single, you'll find happiness and meaning in that.

Life, for me, is about living. It's about the experiences you have,. It's about learning and loving and getting your heart broken and putting the pieces back together. Take every experience as it comes, as it is. It's only a bad or sad experience if we label it that way - and having bad and sad experiences isn't necessarily a bad thing. It's just a part of life. I think we become more complete, complex, interesting people if we have a wide variety of experiences behind us.

I think finding and losing someone you love dearly is an experience we've all had, or will have. If you stayed with your "perfect person," one day she would die and leave you alone. Or, you would die and leave her alone. So we all lose our loved one at some point; I think the important thing is to appreciate them when you have them. Then when they're gone, you can be happy knowing you were able to have the experience of being with them.

Then you can approach your next relationship (or your eternal singleness) in the same way - appreciate the experience in and of itself. Even if it isn't as "good" an experience as the one with the person you've lost; all experiences have value. Good and bad. They add up to the greater sum that is you and your life.