The Good Commandments
September 11, 2020 at 6:30 pm
(This post was last modified: September 11, 2020 at 7:42 pm by god bother.)
I was watching something recently on Youtube where Christopher Hitchens was critiquing the Ten Commandments. It was great stuff. So, I was at a loose end this evening and thought i'd punch out my own.
I reckon my list is a vast improvement on the original. And my 'god' is much better too. Any thoughts? Did i miss out any of the big ones?
Cheers,
The Good Commandments.
1 – Thou shall not put one race above another – I created all people equal.
2 – Thou shall not put one sex above another – like I said, I created all people equal.
3 – Thou shall not cast the blame upon children for the consequences of your own weaknesses.
4 – I am the one true God – taking offense on my behalf is the gravest of sins. Oh, hang on, it’s obviously not the gravest, but it really does irk me.
5 – I am the one true God – so it doesn’t bother me in the slightest if many people don’t believe it. Seriously! I’m good with it.
6 – I didn’t create you guys a back-up planet – don’t waste it.
7 – Thou shall not ignore poverty and injustice – NO, starting your own foundation doesn’t impress me much.
8 – Thou shall take the big hint from evolution – I dig diversity.
9 – If thou feels sorry for something then apologize, but not to me. All creation is mine and you can’t hurt my feelings. Anyway, I have a cosmic sense of humour
10 – Football is not religion! – Well, ok, maybe even I’m conflicted on that one.
I reckon my list is a vast improvement on the original. And my 'god' is much better too. Any thoughts? Did i miss out any of the big ones?
Cheers,
The Good Commandments.
1 – Thou shall not put one race above another – I created all people equal.
2 – Thou shall not put one sex above another – like I said, I created all people equal.
3 – Thou shall not cast the blame upon children for the consequences of your own weaknesses.
4 – I am the one true God – taking offense on my behalf is the gravest of sins. Oh, hang on, it’s obviously not the gravest, but it really does irk me.
5 – I am the one true God – so it doesn’t bother me in the slightest if many people don’t believe it. Seriously! I’m good with it.
6 – I didn’t create you guys a back-up planet – don’t waste it.
7 – Thou shall not ignore poverty and injustice – NO, starting your own foundation doesn’t impress me much.
8 – Thou shall take the big hint from evolution – I dig diversity.
9 – If thou feels sorry for something then apologize, but not to me. All creation is mine and you can’t hurt my feelings. Anyway, I have a cosmic sense of humour
10 – Football is not religion! – Well, ok, maybe even I’m conflicted on that one.
