5 years of terrorism - I'm in a cult!

[Susan]

I'm basically suffering for this being's craziness.  I've been experiencing terrorism for 5 years and IT IS THE WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD!  This being is NOT real - it is NOT good and my brain can't make sense of all the tortuousness and nonsensical turns and the twistedness and the serpentine path - basically, all the illogicalness!  This being is NOT real - I just need to shake off this religion because this is what I've been indoctrinated with and it's taking some time to become an atheist or to unlearn everything - all the brainwashing and indoctrination.  Right now, I feel terrible and horrible and I have this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.  So this situation must be WRONG!  My body knows it!  This being is basically having me be in a horrible situation with a f*cking stranger - it is so deranged or bizarre.  I feel like I'm in a cult and this is definitely cultish..I did NOT sign up for a cult or for religious abuse!  Whatever this being is doing is INSANE - there is NO other word for it!  I've been looking for housing the last six weeks and this being, if it is supposedly real, is supposed to provide some options or open doors, right?!  But I've met nothing but dead ends and it is f*cking freezing in Chicago right now - there is a snowstorm and I don't really know what I'm supposed to do!