(July 29, 2021 at 12:56 pm)Ten Wrote: I mean, I get better and better at accepting that there aren't rules and that nobody knows anything for sure. But every once in a while I have those old conversations with family members in my head and my blood boils again.
I do like Dr. John Dehlin though. He's really great. His podcast is all about holding the LDS church accountable and giving voice and visibility to those of us who have left the church. There are so many stories of true believers who have been victimized and manipulated by the church. It dispels the church's lie that those who have left were never true believers or never had faith.
I had moments as I was leaving where I felt very alone in my crisis but hopefully those who are leaving now can find his podcast and not feel that way.
Whenever you have "doubts" or feel "stumped" ask yourself the following. " What was my life like 13.8 billion years ago?" Then, "What will my life be like 5 billion years from now?".
The harsh truth is that there is only now. Now is important, while we are alive for sure. But humans would do better to stop inserting the bullshit idea that our individual cognitions will survive our body/brain death. The comfort I find in the only life I have, is that the atoms in me now were the result of the death of stars prior to our current star. I also find comfort in knowing, even after my finite cognition is gone, the atoms in me will move onto other things. Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT believe in the bullshit of reincarnation. I fully accept that when I die I will no longer exist. But even with those whom will survive me, and remember me, after my death, time will take all life on this planet, be it by our own hands, or by a comet, or meteor, but ultimately the sun. There will be no memory of me, or any rich or poor person in human history.
But the good thing about our finite existence, is that we can, while we are alive, enjoy the now, the only finite now we have. You go to a movie knowing it will end, but you still go. You go to a music concert knowing it plays a last song, but you still go. You go to a sporting event, knowing one team will win, and one will lose, but you still go. You read a good book, knowing it has a last page, but you still read it.
I find the idea of personal eternity cheapens the one life I have. I have no desire to be forever. I have a desire to live as long as I can while I am still happy and in good health. But beyond that, I know the universe never cared about me, and does not need me. I don't see that acceptance as fatalistic. It is just a recognition that the ride always ends. It is also why I cannot understand why rich people pay 20 or 30 k for first class airline tickets. The plane lands at the same time no matter if you sit at the front of the plane or the back of the plane. And first class still shares the same smelly bathrooms as coach. And if something goes wrong 30k up nobody is going to give a shit about what you make or where you live. Everyone is going to think about surviving.
Point is, life is, and that is it. You only get one.
