Coffee

[thesummerqueen]

Listen here coffee junkie...high tea is served throughout good old England (not just London). It is traditional to have sandwiches, scones (served with strawberry jam and clotted cream). A tradition observed throught the whole ex-empire to this day except one corner in the western provinces, whose name escapes me.

Coffee is so limp it is served with biscotti, macaroons and is topped with all kinds of shite to make it look vaguely presentable and to stop it tasting like pipe cleaner fluid.

O Captain, my Captain.

First of all, if you have to knock biscotti, it's because you haven't tasted biscotti made by my two pretty hands. It's quite good. Second, I drink my coffee sometimes done up all fancy, but actually do not want all sorts of shit all over it unless I'm doing it Irish style in which the whipped cream balances out the bite of the whiskey. Third, you must have been drinking some shite that comes in a cheap plastic can pre-ground and already tasteless, because a *good* cup of coffee is the sexually promising kiss of the morning. I generally sip mine over nice and runny over-easy eggs, hot southern biscuits (nothing like your English biscuits) and steaming sausage. In the evenings, a spot of coffee with a bit of vanilla creamer nicely rounds out an ice cream dessert. I don't eat macaroons unless it's Passover, and then you don't have to worry about what I'm drinking because I'm usually also feasting on gefilte fish which is far more offensive than even the worst cup of coffee to a non-Jew's palate.