Our server costs ~$56 per month to run. Please consider donating or becoming a Patron to help keep the site running. Help us gain new members by following us on Twitter and liking our page on Facebook!
Current time: March 29, 2024, 11:16 am

Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Help me catch the office coffee thief
#1
Help me catch the office coffee thief
I was discussing this in SLACK and got some fun and smart ideas. It made me think that there could be all kinds of clever ways to either catch this menace to society, or get back at them.

My office is an agency combo. We have a few agencies sharing the space. Our break room has five coffee makers, which belong to specific people. If you want to make coffee, you have to bring your coffee maker, coffee, and anything you need to brew it and prepare it. I have my name on top of mine: IVY’s.
I make my coffee every morning, so it’s ready by 8:30. I grab my mug and head to the break room already craving my coffee, when boom. I see it. The coffee maker. It’s empty. Someone has been taking MY coffee. Said person left a dollar under the maker the other day. The fuck?!

So, what should I do?
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
Reply
#2
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
Pee in trhe coffee makere
Reply
#3
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
Definitely. Do that.
Reply
#4
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
And make sure you stop at Dunkin Donuts that day for your own coffee.
Reply
#5
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
Peeing in it would contaminate her coffee maker forever though.

Ppersonally, I'd start brewing larger pots, enough for myself and like 2 or 3 others, and go ahead and charge 1 buck each. What is just the grounds and filter worth for a cup, like 5c? Take advantage of the desperate coffee addicts, cha ching!
“Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end?” 
― Tom StoppardRosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
Reply
#6
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
Leave a friendly note:  "If you take the last of my coffee, please brew more so that it's ready for me at 8:30.  I'm OK with sharing the machine -- Let's work something out.  Signed, Ivy."

If that doesn't work, perhaps invest in a surveillance drone that launches from the top of the cupboards and drops water balloons on the miscreant.   Big Grin
Reply
#7
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
(November 27, 2017 at 2:01 pm)Aroura Wrote: Peeing in it would contaminate her coffee maker forever though.

Ppersonally, I'd start brewing larger pots, enough for myself and like 2 or 3 others, and go ahead and charge 1 buck each. What is just the grounds and filter worth for a cup, like 5c? Take advantage of the desperate coffee addicts, cha ching!

I tried doing the coffee fund thing, but they began to request changes to the coffee. Too strong! Chill on the heaviness! Add cinnamon!
Hell nah! My coffee. My way. Heh
"Hipster is what happens when young hot people do what old ladies do." -Exian
Reply
#8
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
If someone were lactating, a 'special' container of creamer might be a fun adjudication . . .
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




Reply
#9
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
Just put in three tablespoons of syrup of ipecac while it's brewing. You will find your culprit in short order.   Big Grin Don't forget that you did it, though! Confused

One place I worked, we had a community coffee pot. 20¢ a cup, no big deal. We had one cheap sumbitch bring in a mug that used half the carafe.
If you get to thinking you’re a person of some influence, try ordering somebody else’s dog around.
Reply
#10
RE: Help me catch the office coffee thief
Some of you are just to nice. 

How long does your maker take to brew? 

Contamination with a hefty dose of salt should do the trick. Or Mag Citrate (not immediate so they may not get the connection but will fuck up their day). Might have to do it for a week straight. Maybe not catch, but stop.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
Reply



Possibly Related Threads...
Thread Author Replies Views Last Post
  Coffee and Orange Juice Foxaèr 10 619 August 14, 2022 at 5:45 am
Last Post: The Valkyrie
  How do you take your coffee? vulcanlogician 37 2320 September 27, 2021 at 10:20 pm
Last Post: chimp3
  Your ideal home office/computer pit. Gawdzilla Sama 4 720 August 25, 2018 at 12:34 pm
Last Post: Gawdzilla Sama
  Coffee has been banned...... Foxaèr 28 2584 May 28, 2018 at 9:22 pm
Last Post: KevinM1
  The catch-all forum drama thread KevinM1 85 6611 May 9, 2018 at 1:00 pm
Last Post: *Deidre*
  How do you take your coffee? Antares 51 8355 April 19, 2018 at 1:02 pm
Last Post: The Industrial Atheist
  The Coffee Questionaire Foxaèr 27 2299 September 30, 2017 at 6:41 am
Last Post: chimp3
  Clouds in my coffee, I'm not vain.... Brian37 6 567 September 29, 2017 at 8:35 am
Last Post: Brian37
  Tired All The Time Without Coffee Edwardo Piet 52 5596 August 30, 2017 at 7:26 pm
Last Post: The Valkyrie
  Microsoft office suites certification Shinagami 6 2091 July 31, 2015 at 12:19 am
Last Post: Tiberius



Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)