Why does God care about S E X?

[T.J.]

God would rather you masturbate than have sex with strange females.

Actually, God would rather you not masturbate at all. I'm pretty sure any sexual action that isn't with your spouse is a sexual sin and that include masturbation.

And I think God only approves of the missionary position for you and your spouse. How dreadful.

But hey if you never have sex with anyone and never masturbate you'll be considered pure and beyond the taint of women. As it said somewhere in Revelations. Can't remember where.