Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

For those feeling worthless about themselves, don't. You have value

What the hell is a "Kidney Pancreas"?  Does the Pancreas only come as a package deal with the Kidney?  Do I have to buy the undercoating and maintenance package with that?

Since when are body parts proper names?  Enquiring® minds want to know!

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I follow a local page for our town on FB...of course, the ice and snow and cold is the main topic of discussion right now.  

Someone asked if there was anything available at Kroger (grocery store) after the big rush Wednesday night.

First reply was: 2 Snickers and a Mountain Dew.

Reply to that was: Dibs on the Mountain Dew.

I'd want to know who was snickering at the lack of groceries.  Fucking anarchist!

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This makes me nervous as I had 'chicken' fried rice last night...I hope it was chicken.  

Probably similar to the fake crab meat you often get at sushi bars.  It's usually ground up pollack that's been mixed with sweeteners, extruded, and colored with pink dye.  They will often list "real crab meat" in their more expensive rolls.

I’ll take your word for it, never having been in a sushi bar.

As for crab meat, we always get the ones that are still wiggling when they go in the pot. If this is imitation crab, it’s a performance worthy of an Oscar.

Boru