A different perspective

[Ahriman]

There are really only two options......either God created everything (literally everything) just to make me suffer, or I'm so special/unique/important that I have some grand destiny no one else has. I don't have a preference for either belief, honestly, because no matter which one is true, I'm still going to suffer a lot.

Oh but you do, you do have a preference for a belief, as it's a coping mechanism for whatever suffering you experience.  You're giving it a point.. which will, as I mentioned earlier, end up meaning that the suffering is blunted, and thus the forge is less effective.

Not a huge problem, since you don't believe any of it is true in principle.

Honestly, this clown show bullshit isn't half as interesting as you mentioning that no matter what, you're going to suffer alot.  Why is that?

Why is that? I have no idea. I just suffer, tremendously, for what I would like to believe is a good reason, but perhaps not. Believing in the "positive" option only makes me suffer slightly less. That's all I get in life. Some superficial happiness that amounts to nothing. Forget love, joy, all that good stuff. No, I was meant to experience intolerable pain. Awesome.