Seeking meaningful advice from atheists

[Belacqua]

[...] We're seeing this now in Hollywood as it is endlessly remaking and retelling old stories which resonated with millions across the world. Only now these stories have mary-sue type women who are handed everything (Mulan, Rey) because Hollywood is trying to appeal to a new kind of feminist virtue [...]

I was thinking some more about the Mary Sues. It does show an interesting development in popular media, and you're right that it expresses a change in values. 

It occurs to me that a lot of pop media is intended as wish fulfillment. We identify with a character who always wins, for whom all desires are fulfilled and all difficulties overcome. This character has the coolest stuff and the most attractive demeanor. 

For men, the paradigm is probably James Bond. Minimal backstory, good at everything, sharpest clothes, can operate any and every vehicle without training, more effective at using violence than anyone else. He gets any woman he wants but is never saddled with the negotiations required for a long term relationship. He has the coolest watch, the coolest car, etc. But note that this only includes guy stuff -- it never says he has a beautiful apartment with interiors done by a professional designer, because that would be girly. 

Then there are a thousand variations on this, with less famous characters in books and movies serving the same function. You can choose the version that appeals to you. You've got your American tough guys, your military tough guys, your rich tough guys, your tough guys living on a house boat. Etc. ad nauseam. 

Until recently the women's version of this was romance novels. Women were assumed to want different things, and these books were designed as fantasy wish fulfillment of those desires. 

Now women's desires are assumed to be, often, similar to men's. The ability to solve problems through violence, the ability to say cool one-liners to demonstrate their superior coolness. The ability to be good at every kind of technical or skillful activity, without training. 

We notice the Mary Sues as unrealistic because it's new for women, but it's really just inviting women into the same old boring fantasy that men have been buying for a very long time.