How do I deal with the belief that maybe... Just maybe... God exists and I'm...

[Jehanne]

Jesus' words do not exist, as he did not write anything, and the earliest accounts of his sayings were written a generation after his death and were the product of individuals who were writing in a language that Jesus did not speak none of whom were eyewitnesses to his life.

I think Jesus is a myth based on John the Baptist and the like, and not at all historical.  I was just ribbing a Bible thumper.

I think that he was historical, but, he was a nut, a religious loon, whom everyone who was literate ignored, appealing only to the lower, illiterate classes, all of whom, like Jesus, believed in a flat Earth. As with John the Baptist, whom he knew, he was an apocalyptist who, after going to Jerusalem at the behest of some of his followers, encountered the Romans, who knew exactly how to deal with apocalyptists, and they did so without so much as an historical footnote.