How do I deal with the belief that maybe... Just maybe... God exists and I'm...

[Angrboda]

Just maybe one does. But it only begs the question. would it be the type that interacts with its subjects, or is an impersonal deity.  If its the judeo-christian god, he'd know what you believe no matter what you say. And if it's not that god, you may go to the hell of different god, which puts christians in the same position. Just remember, it's PEOPLE who put these ideas in your head, not the god they claim. Let me give you a quote from Thomas Jefferson. 
"...Question with boldness even the existence of a god, because if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear."

Perhaps you would like to make a thread in the introduction section so that we can get to know you.

Naw. Don't do that. I feel I know you well enough already.