What have you done for yourself lately?

[The Valkyrie]

Done 4 parachute jumps for charaty, I recomend it!

On one of them the instructor was going through the safety systems...
"you jump out, fall about 30 feet then the static line pulls your chute open"
"If that fails, you pull the handle on the front of your chute"
"If you don't, when you get to about 1000 feet, an automatic system fires an explosive bolt to deploy your chute"
"If that fails, you pull the handle on your reserve chute"
"if that fails, just before you smash into the ground at 120 mph, cross your legs and hold your left arm up in the air, then it's a left hand screw when they try to get our body out of the hole and your relatives will have your wristwatch as a memory of you!"

Huh.

First dive, after all the safety talks, I got, "Don't die. The paperwork's a pain!"

Which is, coincidentally, what I tell my patients.