A Manchester United supporter dies on match day and arrives at the Pearly Gates in his Man Utd shirt. St. Peter is there wearing an Arsenal scarf and says, 'Sorry, mate, no Manchester fans allowed in Heaven.'
'But I'm a good man!'
'Really?' says Peter. 'What have you done, then?'
'Well, three weeks ago, I sent ten pounds to help feed starving children in Africa.'
'Hmm. What else?'
'Two weeks ago, I gave ten pounds to a homeless shelter.'
'Ok. Anything more?'
'Just last week, I gave ten pounds to Albanian orphans.'
'Alright,' says Peter. 'Wait here and I'll have a word with the guvnor.'
Peter comes back a few minutes later and says, 'I've told God your story and he agrees with me. Here's your thirty quid back, now fuck off.'
Boru
'But I'm a good man!'
'Really?' says Peter. 'What have you done, then?'
'Well, three weeks ago, I sent ten pounds to help feed starving children in Africa.'
'Hmm. What else?'
'Two weeks ago, I gave ten pounds to a homeless shelter.'
'Ok. Anything more?'
'Just last week, I gave ten pounds to Albanian orphans.'
'Alright,' says Peter. 'Wait here and I'll have a word with the guvnor.'
Peter comes back a few minutes later and says, 'I've told God your story and he agrees with me. Here's your thirty quid back, now fuck off.'
Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
