Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

[The Architect Of Fate]

Joke political parties Canadian style 

https://www.bcexitwexit.com/

[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.7)]It has come to our attention that our friends in Alberta want to secede from Canada, and assume that BC is tagging along for the ride. [/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.7)]That ride probably isn’t electric, also — no.
[/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.7)]The BCExitWexit party firmly believes that we should officially excuse ourselves from Wexit before Mr. Trudeau starts ignoring us too. [/color]
[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.7)]Some may call our movement absurd, but it’s 2020, what isn’t.[/color]

[color=rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.9)]Our Demands[/color]

1. A Preemptive declaration of BC’s intent to exit Wexit, before a highly unlikely Wexit exit
   
   
2. For Wexit to stop calling itself “The West.” Girl, BC is the west, you’re the “Almost West.”
   
   
3. The construction of a wildlife bridge from BC to Saskatchewan, and Alberta will pay for it.
   
   
4. For all Ravens to be legally-recognized as non-human persons
   

BCEXITWEXIT CONSTITUTION ([color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.7)]Written while absolutely hammered.)[/color]

[color=rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.7)][b]Introduction:[/b] BCExitWexit is a delusional (and slightly hammered) collective of trolls, weeaboos, and cucks who believe in laughing at the nebulous political forces attempting to manipulate the general public. We are guided by a strong Sense of Direction, Our Fetish for Albertan Abuse, and a Belief in Raven Personhood

[b]Sense of Direction[/b] is defined as understanding the geographical location of what you claim to be “The West.” We firmly believe that the “West” should not be determined by a province’s location in relation to Ottawa, but it’s location in relation to reality. Furthermore, a “Western” movement should not include every province to the west of the offending province without explicit approval of said western provinces.

[b]Our Fetish for Albertan Abuse[/b] is defined as a constant desire to be crapped on by Alberta. What would our lives be without the constant struggle to avert an oilspill of catastrophic proportions along our pristine shores? Who would we be if we did not have to suffer the horrors of our neighbors to the east “rolling coal” through our great province? British Columbians might complain about the near-easterners that constantly treat us like garbage — but maybe we kinda like it. Spank us again Daddy Alberta! Might we have another?

[b]Belief in Raven Personhood[/b] is the recognition that our feathery brethren exhibit a profound level of social and emotional intelligence. We believe that Ravens are more than bigger, scarier crows, and that they deserve the rights of personhood. Ignoring that the Raven community would overwhelmingly vote Conservative, we believe this issue is above partisanship. Our beliefs have nothing to do with the vast funding (in the form of stolen bottlecaps/watches) that the Ravens has gifted to our movement.[/color]