Random Humorous Things - A Light-Hearted Thread

[Rev. Rye]

And here's how to do it on Irfanview. It's free, and it's probably perfect for something this lo-fi. 

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Step 1 — Resize (Low-Res Look)

1. Go to Image → Resize/Resample…
   
2. Set Width = 500 px (keep aspect ratio checked)
   
3. Click OK
   
4. Then resize again back to your desired display size (e.g. 1200 px wide)
   

➡️ This creates the low-resolution softness typical of 2000s webcam or digital camera shots.

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Step 2 — Blur

1. Go to Image → Effects → Blur
   
2. Click it 2 times (or 3 for a softer look)
   

➡️ Softens the details like an airbrushed portrait.

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Step 3 — Color Boost (the “Viper” Saturation)

1. Press Shift + G to open Color Corrections
   
2. Use these slider settings:
   Brightness: +10
   Contrast: +20
   Gamma correction: 1.05
   Saturation: +45
   Red: +5
   Green: 0
   Blue: -5
   
3. Click OK
   

➡️ This gives you that vivid, slightly warm tone and extra contrast. (Note: I added "convert to greyscale" for this one)

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Step 4 — Harsh Flash Lighting

1. Go to Image → Effects → Sharpen
   
2. Apply once only (light sharpening)
   
3. Optional: Open Color Corrections (Shift+G) again and raise Brightness another +5 to +10
   

➡️ Simulates a flash directly on the subject’s face.

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Step 5 — Text (Album & Artist Name)

1. Press F12 to open the Paint dialog (Note: I used Edit---> "Open Paint Dialog" instead)
   
2. Select the Text tool (A)
   
3. Font: Arial Black or Times New Roman Bold
   
4. Size: 48–72 pt (depending on image) (Note: I ended up using 36 Pt for size reasons)
   
5. Color: White (Note: I used Gold, hex value: ffd700)
   
6. Optional shadow:
   • Type the text again in black, slightly lower and to the right for a “fake shadow.” (I found it easier to do the shadow layer first)
     
7. Placement: (Do I really have to explain that I didn't do this step verbatim?)
   • Top: “You’ll Cowards Don’t Even Smoke Crack”
     
   • Bottom: “Viper”
     

➡️ This text layout is part of the signature look.

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Step 6 — Optional Glow
If you want that surreal “soft halo” glow:

1. Save a copy of your edited image (
   File → Save As → glow_temp.jpg
2. Open that copy
   
3. Image → Effects → Blur 3–5 times
   
4. Image → Color Corrections (Shift+G)
   • Increase Brightness: +30
     
   • Increase Contrast: +20
     
5. Save as
   glow_layer.jpg
6. Open your original again → Image → Overlay image… → choose (Note: It's actually Edit --> Insert Overlay Image.)
   glow_layer.jpg
   • Set Transparency to ~70%
     
   • Click OK
     

➡️ Soft glowing aura effect.

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Step 7 — Final Compression (JPEG Artifacts)

1. Go to File → Save As
   
2. Choose JPEG (.jpg)
   
3. Set Save quality = 45%
   
4. Click OK
   

➡️ Gives that classic compressed, grainy, lo-fi feel.

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