Buying you with food

[Jackalope]

I can't get them off my porch fast enough.

I've tried being polite, I've tried being rude, and I've tried ignoring the idiots.

Since the sheriff frowns on turning packs of vicious dogs on trespassers, I've come up with another plan.

You've all see those huge firehoses some older hotels have behind glass doors in the hallways, I'm sure. I'm going to get one of those bad boys installed on my entryway wall, just to the right of my front door.

That oughtta get 'em off my porch, out of my yard, and off my block pretty damn quick.